It is Your Day and guest consideration - where do you draw the line?

True Story: I recently had a bride look me dead in the eye and say “I hate my father-in-laws name, do I have to put it on my invitation?”

But here is the truth – there is no simple answer to that question. The answer comes through the process that we went through:

I asked her: “Are your in-laws helping pay for the wedding day?”
She said: “Yes”
I asked her: “Would your in-laws be offended by being left out of the invitation?”
She said: “Yes”
And finally I said to her: “We could put only Mr. and Mrs. with their last name, but I want you to think for a minute. The last thing you want to do is start a family feud or issue with your invitation – so think how important to you is your relationship you’re your Father-in-Law vs. how important it is that you dislike his name so much to think of not putting it on your invitation”

She thought for a minute and found her line between Her Day and Guest (in this case in-law) Consideration. She realized that her distaste for the name he was given was, for her, petty in comparison to the care she did have for her future father-in law.



Other places:
Think about how timing could affect your guests – send invites too late and maybe they won’t have the time to make travel arrangements, get off from work any days needed, schedule a babysitter, or even to save for a wedding gift. (not everyone has fast access to extra money for gifts or envelopes in this current economy)

If you know in particular that you have several guests with allergies – perhaps going light on flowers would make everyone’s night a little more enjoyable. (unless you want a band of sniffles and sneezes)



It is your day – for every couple there is a different definition to a “happy medium”. Give it some thought and think of your day from your guests’ point of view.


Written by: Kathleen Zagula. You can find more from her on twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn and Google+